You can let it grow naturally, or you can ask for it.
Personally, I let my mentorships grow naturally. I view a mentorship as a mixture of a professional relationship and a “friendship”. Therefore, while you can specifically seek out a professional to be your mentor and build a relationship with them, you can’t really ask for a friendship.
I know others have found success in asking a professional to be their mentor formally. They find someone who they look up to, who they think would serve as a good mentor, and they just ask them.
What do you think? Should you ask a professional to be your mentor or should you let your mentorships grow naturally?
Today’s Mentor Monday post comes from my friend Ryan Knapp. After reading this post, check out his blog to find out more about him.
In 2006 I went from a PhD program in Linguistics to becoming a President/Owner of a minor-league soccer club (quite the life change, right?). Thrust into my new position, one of the first things I did was make a list of what I needed to be successful. Right below ‘make loads of $$’ and just above ‘hire an assistant’ I had scribbled ‘Find a Mentor’.
So I Googled, “Find a Mentor” and after reading 10 posts about why a mentor is so important and how to find a mentor in 5 steps (or for $29.99) I had a silent freak out moment,
“Oh God, I DON’T have a mentor…what do I do? Where do I start? and HOW do I find one?”
My previous life in academia I was lucky enough to have been ‘given’ three amazing mentors, or advisers as they are more commonly called. I know many college students who are stuck with an adviser they despise, but my adviser in High School and my two advisers in College (Dr. Jeri Jaeger and Dr. Wolfgang Wölck) are/were incredible mentors and friends, but I never had to venture further than down the hall to find them.
For the first time in my life I was stuck finding a mentor on my own, and I had no clue.
So I took up an industrious approach and searched out potential mentors and read their bios and scrutinized as if I was interviewing them for a job to work with me. “Nope, too young. Nope, not in my field.” Lo and behold I came up empty.
However, after a few months of my failed mentor search I realized something — finding a mentor isn’t about trying to find a mentor at all.
Finding a mentor comes from forming quality connections and relationships with new people without a set outcome in mind. Using this approach opens up a world of possibilities and you view mentorship in a completely different context. The ‘search’ becomes unnecessary and your focus shifts to a productive two-way relationship with both give and take.
From the get-go you may have been looking for a big-shot in your field to be your mentor, but just because someone isn’t a big shot means they have less to give you. Maybe you are a business focused person but your mentor might be someone who is an artist but can show you 1001 different ways to look at a situation.
I have been lucky enough to find two incredible mentors who have been instrumental in my growth professionally and personally. Both Kiko Suarez and Keith Burtis became my mentors during transitions in my life, and they helped me get to where I am today, and are helping me reach where I’ll be tomorrow.