Community leadership is one of the most beautiful, impactful, and joyful roles a human can take on. There are few greater feelings than seeing someone find belonging in a space that you’ve created.
It’s bliss.
But leading a community is a complex and difficult role. The blissful moments rise from the soil of emotional, gritty work. Few understand all the challenges of leading a community unless they’ve been through it themselves.
Stop me if any of this sounds familiar:
- Your community never sleeps, and so you’re always “on”
- Conflict arises between members and it takes an enormous emotional toll on you
- You’re balancing keeping your community intimate with financial security and growth
- You do your best to be inclusive, but the fear of messing up (and being called out) is always looming
- You’re still running a number of community programs that you no longer feel energized by, but feel obligated to keep alive
- You’re exhausted by all the backend work of keeping the community operating, and you don’t have enough help
- You never truly know if your community is “working” because it’s so hard to measure
- Your old pal burnout is lurking around the corner, but the guilt of stepping away from your community to take time for yourself weighs heavy
- You know that one day you’ll want to step down from your leadership role, but you feel an obligation to the community to keep going
- Most of all… you’re navigating a lot of this alone
These are just some of the challenges I’ve faced over 22 years of launching and leading communities, starting with gaming communities in my teens and eventually starting three startups and leading a number of community teams at fast-growing startups.
And I haven’t just lived this experience, I’ve seen thousands of other community leaders live it through my experience cofounding, leading, and ultimately selling CMX, a community and in-person conference for 20,000+ community professionals.
As a coach and consultant, I’ve advised some of the world’s largest brands (Meta, Google, Airbnb) as well as many small community businesses and startups (Gage Strength Training, Prenda, The Tech Tribe, Sphero, Flashpack, Vena…to name a few).
These challenges show up for everyone who answers the call for community.
Let’s go deeper…
All of the above are just the external struggles that we navigate as community leaders.
Underneath are the internal struggles that we navigate: The unhelpful stories we believe about ourselves and others that, as we navigate the community seas, can cause a great deal of suffering.
I learned this the hard way. Perhaps some of these stories will feel familiar to you, or maybe you have your own stories:
- I have a deep fear of loneliness
- I’m a people pleaser and will change myself to get people to like me
- I avoid conflict and am uncomfortable when people around me are fighting
- I get stuck in perfectionism and idealism, unable to make decisions and delegate
- I need to be seen as “the good guy” and struggle to tune into my own values
- I like to win, love the thrill of competition, and avoid the sting of loss
- I have a fear of not having enough money
- I tie my identity closely to my work and struggle to know my true self
- I believe at my core that “I am not enough”, and use these stories to fill that hole
It’s taken many years of work with therapy, coaches, meditation, and other practices, to recognize these stories within myself. They were the “dirty fuel” that drove me to achieve a lot of success and have a lot of positive impact but also caused a lot of unnecessary suffering.
Our stories, when left unchecked, can cause suffering in three areas:
- In ourselves: Of course, these stories never made me feel like I’m enough, and instead caused me anxiety, depression, and ultimately led to burnout.
- In our relationships: My need for reputation caused me to center myself at the expense of my teammates, partners, and community leaders. My competitiveness made it hard to collaborate. My conflict avoidance led me to avoid hard conversations.
- In our communities: By modeling this behavior, I unconsciously influenced the culture of the communities I led.
When in a position of community leadership, we have a great responsibility to know ourselves because our stories become the stories of the community. Our values become the community’s values. Our biases and patterns become the community’s biases and patterns.
And look, it’s not all suffering. These stories aren’t inherently good or bad. They’re human. They’re us. In my case, they led me to do a lot of good in the world. But when we’re blind to our stories, and we can’t see how they’re causing suffering, eventually they catch up to us. They lead us to burn out. They lead to community conflict. They hinder our communities from reaching their fullest expression.
But there’s a better way…
A conscious approach to community leadership
Conscious leadership isn’t a new concept but it has been notably absent from the world of community leadership.
Building on the definition offered by Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman, and Kaley Klemp, here’s how I define this work:
Conscious community leadership emphasizes self-awareness, authenticity, and a deep understanding of the interconnectedness of individuals and communities. Conscious community leaders are mindful of their own thoughts, emotions, and actions, and they strive to create positive and sustainable communities.
The support I offer as your coach sits at this intersection of “community work” and “inner work”:
Community work: The “external” work of leading community, facilitating engagement, empowering leaders, managing conflict, measuring engagement, starting or sunsetting programs, navigating a transition out of leadership, etc.
Inner work: The “internal” work of getting to know yourself, recognizing your stories and how they get projected onto the community, and learning how to show up with your whole self, confidently, and with clarity.
Each of these practices feed into each other. Our communities provide us with windows into who we are. And by learning who we are, we can show up as more conscious community leaders.
It’s from this place of self-awareness, love, and acceptance, that you and your community can reach its full expression. You’ll experience a shift in how you show up to all of the external challenges we talked about above. You’ll be building a community that truly honors and values who you are and who your members are.
This is the support I wish I had throughout my journey. I found consultants and mentors to guide me with the community work. Coaches, therapists, and teachers helped me with inner work. But no one could help me integrate the two.
My calling is to provide this integrated practice for the next generation of community leaders.
Who I work with
I work with community leaders who are usually at one of three stages that make up the “community leadership journey”:
- Creation: Designing a new community program – We work together to intentionally design a new community that will, hopefully, lead to a thriving, meaningful membership experience.
- Leadership: Growing and facilitating an active community – We work together to help you show up fully and consciously, with confidence and clarity, as you navigate all the pieces of leading an active community.
- Transition: Stepping out of a leadership role or making a change in ownership – We work together to navigate the various paths you can take as you transition your community, or your role as the leader of your community, into a new chapter.
Your community may be big or small, online or offline, live or asynchronous, centralized or decentralized… I enjoy working with most versions of community.
I primarily work with businesses where community is a core priority and an end in its own right. If the business is aiming to use community to sell or support another product, I can recommend other consultants who specialize in enterprise communities like this.
I work with community leaders who are naturally self-reflective and have a genuine intention to explore inner work alongside community work. If you’re only looking for tactics and playbooks, I’m probably not the right coach for you (I’d be happy to introduce you to an incredible consultant).
I won’t know all the answers. My job is to help you find the truths within yourself about the community you want to bring into the world, and how you want to show up as a leader. Where it fits, I will also share my experience and learnings, and offer templates and tools to help you along the way.
Client testimonials:
“I started working with David to get help growing my community and business, but I ended up getting way more than just practical advice. Being a founder is a wild ride, and every day can feel like a new challenge. David has this incredible way of making you feel safe through it all. He’s not just focused on the business side—he really helped me grow as a person, too. Every session felt like a chance to reflect, get clear on my values, and figure out how to align them with my work. I always left our conversations feeling more grounded and ready to handle whatever came next. If you’re looking for someone who truly gets the ups and downs of leadership and can guide you through it with heart, I can’t recommend David enough.”
– Maura McInerney-Rowley
Cofounder, Hello Mortal
“As above, so below. I had the honour and and great joy of receiving David’s attuned and powerful coaching as we are transitioning and launching a therapeutic community for healing attachment and relationships. I decided to contact David after having heard him speak so many times on the topic of community and started to feel a calling for a specific quality. Authentic empowerment and true sustainability, in a project that holds a lot of complexity. This guy really knows community I thought. This turned out to be true of course, but also more than that.
And, at first, I thought I needed that someone who could give me the playbook of running communities. Looking back, it seemed very logical, but also a kind of “top-down” approach. Instead, David was able to evoke something much more valuable and kept pointing me back to the source of my own drives.
I wouldn’t recommend getting in touch with David if you only want clear and simple advice about your situation. But if you know deep down that authentic and sustainable passion can only come from radical honesty, stillness, presence and mindful action, I can wholeheartedly recommend David as your skilled and attuned companion in your transition, challenge or whatever you are creating that really matters to you and others.
It seems to me that David’s way of coaching aims at truth and alignment. For this state of inner clarity to arrive for me around the whole project, things needed to drop away rather than for things to be added. From that inner place something real could emerge.
My heartfelt wish for you to find that. I can deeply recommend connecting with David. As within, so without.”
– Martin Jonsson
Clinical Psychologist
Founder of The Secure Base Lab
“Working with David has been an eye-opening experience that has helped bring me a deeper level of self-awareness. It’s not easy to be an observer of your own actions and behaviors, but with David’s gentle guidance, he helps you to recognize when and where you fall into moments of unconsciousness, and how that can hold you back from being the person you truly want to be. David’s approach encourages patience and persistence. He has helped me build my “awareness muscle” so that I can practice showing up as my best self in all areas of my life. Working with David has helped me gain clarity on how others perceive me, how I think I come across, and who I actually am. I highly recommend David to anyone seeking to deepen their consciousness and unlock their full potential.“
– Noelle Creamer
Founder of Brightly Thrive
“David is a wonderful transition coach, with a unique blend of C-level experience, a warm, inquisitive presence, and deep expertise in personal growth and leadership frameworks. He can guide you to first identify and then overcome limiting beliefs that are impacting your life. I found him to be particularly helpful while navigating a career break. He helped me reflect on my values, identify options that might not have occurred to me naturally, and develop frameworks and strategies that set me up for greater success in my next chapter. On top of all that, David is a wonderful human being and will put you at ease and make you laugh in sessions, which is so important when doing inner work!“
– Chetan Jhaveri
AI Business Strategist｜Leadership Coach｜Community Builder
“I’ve worked with a lot of consultants in all types of different areas of focus, and this was my most interesting and meaningful work I’ve done. I really appreciate the fact that you always lead with a very real and honest view of what community really is.
By that, I mean that there were a lot of ideas or things that could have been novel, ‘cool’, fun or unique and you didn’t have a problem questioning ‘what’s in it for the community?’ And I appreciate that.“
– Devin Gage
Founder of Gage Strength Training
“David is the most special kind of coach. I don’t even know how to describe him to people. His ability to listen, REALLY listen, and ask thoughtful questions is unlike any coach I’ve ever worked with. I appreciated the ways he gently challenged me and the meditative practices he introduced me to. I’m coming out with a deeper awareness of the stories I tell myself, and an ability to see my parts with greater empathy. Working with David opened up a whole new world of self-discovery and growth for me. It was an absolute honor.”
– Danielle Letayf
CEO & Founder, Badassery
Coaching structure:
I work with 6-9 clients at a time.
Generally, I work with individuals and calls are done 1-1. I’m also open to working with teams on a collective need.
You may be paying for coaching yourself, or your company may be paying, but you are my client and my commitment is to you as a person. All conversations are 100% confidential.
Price: My average monthly retainer is $2,500/month. You can see my sliding scale pricing options here.
The retainer includes:
- Two calls per month (when you need more, we will do more at no additional cost)
- “Spot coaching” calls whenever needed
- Unlimited asynchronous support via email and text
- Access to templates and resources
- All preparation and post-call work
I ask for a three-month energetic commitment, which means that I’m not going to put any commitment in our contract, but that you should have an intention of working together for at least three months before we get started. You can choose to end the coaching relationship at any point.
If you’re interested in working together, please get in touch and tell me more about you, and what you’re looking for in coaching. If it looks like a good potential fit, we will schedule a “chemistry call” to get to know each other and determine if there’s a good mutual match.